Message in a Bottle (1999)

★½
I never reviewed Message in a Bottle (1999) during its original release. On my master list, I noticed that I gave it three stars, so I must have liked it at the time. I don't know what changed between then and now, and I won't try to understand it. This movie just didn't hold up at all. It's bad. I only have a small sample size from which to draw, but based on that small sample, I won't be in a rush to see the other adaptations of the works of Nicholas Sparks. Oh, I might like The Notebook, but time is too precious for me to bother with it. Now, the reader might notice my positive reaction to 2002's A Walk to Remember. Would I be disappointed upon a second look? I don't think so. Shane West and Mandy Moore made a lovely couple. I still remember that. I don't remember anything about Message in a Bottle, so this rewatch is a clean slate. I definitely remember 2012's dreadful The Lucky One, also based on a Sparks novel. Message in a Bottle, like The Lucky One, practically dares us to see ahead to a likely conclusion that it doesn't deliver, only to replace it with a hackneyed plot twist that is itself predictable because it can only end one way. To end otherwise would add no value to the relationship between the main characters.

They are Garrett Blake (Kevin Costner) and Theresa Osborne (Robin Wright Penn). After the death of his wife, Garrett threw letters into the ocean to help cope with his loss. Several years later, Theresa finds one of the letters in a bottle and is intrigued by the writer and the words he put to paper. She works for a Chicago newspaper (she found the bottle during a visit to New York City), which publishes the letter after it inspired curiosity among the staff. There is no indication of who wrote it, though there are a few clues, mainly the letterhead and the names of the sender and recipient. Two alert readers see the article and send two more letters to the newspaper, both of which are written on the same letterhead. With the three letters as her guide, Theresa traces their origin to Garrett Blake, who lives in North Carolina. Theresa, against the objection of her editor Charlie (Robbin Coltrane), visits the state to find out more about the writer. After asking around, she finally meets him working on a boat at the harbor. Approaching him as an out-of-towner just passing through, she asks him questions about his vocation and expresses her interest in sailing. He takes the bait and offers her a trip.

Our minds are already straying from the present and seeing into the future. This is not going to end well. She doesn't reveal her intentions right away. She continues inching herself into his life to discover more about the man who wrote the letter. She learns about Catherine, the woman to whom the letters were addressed. She was an artist. Garrett has antagonistic relationship with his in-laws, who want her paintings but can't get them because he refuses to share. His father Dodge (Paul Newman) displays little patience with all this bickering. These conflicts provide much of the drama during Theresa's trip, in addition to her attempts to learn more about him. She eventually leaves without telling him why she was there, but her charm was enough to inspire him to go on a trip of his own. He visits Chicago to see Theresa, who doesn't help matters when she initiates a romantic relationship with him (or accepts his invitation into such a relationship, though her deception attracted him like a fish to a hook), complicating the situation since we know with 100% certainty that he will discover the truth and feel humiliated.

There's no attempt whatsoever to try anything new with this material. I can certainly appreciate a movie told with all the familiar milestones in place to dot the path to the end, but goodness gracious have a little imagination. Try something to show us that the people involved were capable of improving their product. 1987's Overboard is as transparent as it gets, but Garry Marshall made enough tweaks to make the story interesting. There was Goldie Hawn taking responsibility for the kids and scolding Kurt Russell for their lack of discipline. There was the finale, which had Kurt asking Goldie what he could possibly offer a woman who has everything. She gives the perfect answer. Message in a Bottle does nothing like that. When the movie swaps out one ending for another, it isn't subverting our expectations in any logical way. It's a desperate story trying to find a way to put itself out of its misery. The detour is camouflage, comparable to that Twinkle Tush gag gift that covers up a cat's bunghole with a jewel. Hilariously, the jewel falls off the cat's tail, so it's generic, much like this movie's conclusion.

The late Paul Newman is about the only actor in this production who rises above the material. (Illeana Douglas as Lina Paul (Theresa's friend) comes close.) I'm sure he was glad to be here, working with the talented Robin Wright Penn and Kevin Costner, whose career took a hit after 1997's box office bomb The Postman. His character Dodge is engaging and full of life. He is the opposite of everything else on the screen. Penn and Costner do what they can with the script, but really, what could they have done? Even if they fed off Newman's presence, their dialogue and actions would have remained unchanged and still led them down the same trail to the same insipid ending. I previously mentioned A Walk to Remember, which had the same endgame as this. That movie never tried to cheat. Different crew, different cast, different results. There you have it. My second screening of Message in a Bottle resulted in a different reaction—in the wrong direction. This movie didn't age like fine wine. It died on the vine after never having a chance to ripen.

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