Bats (1999)

★
Bats is a lame nature-run-amok movie made worse by horrible supporting characters. Writer John Logan, who moved on to better things (much better things) in the years since this catastrophe, can be forgiven for trying to make an impression with his debut screenplay, which comes across as a mix between The Birds and Kingdom of the Spiders, but even if I grant him a wide berth for the mad scientist who is overly protective of his creation at the expense of the human population, I cannot do the same for his inclusion of a mouthy sidekick who grows more irritating as the story progresses. This movie has a lot of familiar elements of this genre, like the novice scientist minding her own business before she's recruited to solve a mystery, or the big climax featuring a town under attack by animals, but it does nothing new or interesting with them. The story unfolds in a very basic manner, with the only new visual being a cave full of waist-high guano (bat droppings).

Genetically engineered bats are the culprits. A small Texas town finds itself as ground zero for a multitude of bats that have super intelligence and enhanced aggressiveness. Dr. Sheila Casper (Dina Meyer) is a bat expert called in to analyze the situation after several residents have fallen victim to the nocturnal flyers, which normally feast on fruit but have now developed an appetite for meat. Sheriff Kimsey (Lou Diamond Phillips) wants answers, but government scientist Dr. McCabe (Bob Gunton) won't give him any, lest he reveal a secret experiment gone awry. Along with Dr. Casper is her assistant Jimmy Sands (played by an actor who simply goes by Leon), who whines about everything and offers his opinion in the most aggravating ways possible. The movie might have been tolerable if not for Jimmy, but his presence shoots down any entertainment value that could have theoretically emerged from this story.

The bats were apparently supposed to become a government weapon, although the feasibility of using bats is never addressed. Dr. McCabe claims he can control them, although his fate certainly puts a damper on that idea. The movie has a standard framework. We get the early explanation of the threat, some victims suffering grotesque deaths, the secret revealed, the pushback from the inside and the formulation of a plan of attack. Of course, I've seen lots of movies work with this kind of setup, plus or minus a few checkpoints to add variety. The best ones work because of their craftsmanship or willingness to bring something new to the table. The only original offering from Bats is the idea of bats being the threat. On the small end, spiders, ants, birds, rabbits, bees and frogs have had their shot. On a larger scale, aliens, dinosaurs, sharks and lions (Savage Harvest) took turns. It's a genre filled with mixed results, but even with decent production values and good leads, Bats ultimately can't escape the pitfalls of bad writing.

We know Dr. McCabe is bad from the start. He offers deflective answers and cryptic pronouncements. I knew Jimmy was going to be a jerk the moment I first heard him speak. I thought to myself, "Okay, here we go." He has a negative attitude about everything, and my patience wore thin really fast. Did Logan really envision him as a solid character as he typed out his dialogue, or was he just amusing himself by making Jimmy as annoying as possible? Thankfully, Logan moved on to write the underrated The Time Machine and several Daniel Craig James Bond movies, so all is well. Lou Diamond Phillips's stock was dropping after his brush with fame in the Young Guns movies, so seeing him here doing well for himself was a surprise when I watched this in the theater in 1999. Dina Meyer had recently done Starship Troopers and was responsible for its most touching scene. The two leads are solid and carry the film well enough. They just didn't have much support. The plot is by-the-numbers, and Jimmy is irritating.

The bats themselves are curiously handled. We get plenty of close-ups of their facial expressions and meticulous body movements. They look less like bats and more like the creatures from Ghoulies, but with wings. I suppose the makeup department decided to have some fun with the puppets. Nevertheless, Bats could have worked. Arachnophobia is good example of the genre. Even the overhyped Snakes on a Plane was entertaining. I'm sure Logan was pleased with himself when he finished his script. He obviously had big dreams of writing movies with a great deal of visibility. Producer Rick Berman spotted his potential and hired him to write Star Trek: Nemesis a few years later. He's had a good career, and his James Bond contributions are incredible, so if Bats was a key contributor for kick starting his career, then I'm grateful for its existence. I'm just not grateful for the experience of watching it.

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